Thursday, February 20, 2014

The Journey

There was a time when she was very much like you or me, but it was long ago. 

She is not whole.
She walks in darkness. 
Her life lived in shades of grey.

Her secrets are deeper than her soul.
Her mind is tortured. 
Her waking hours are a nightmare.  
Her pain is without end. 

She is lost. 
She is drowning. 
The regret is suffocating.
Her innocence can never be recaptured

The wasted years of her youth cannot be recovered.
The loss is unbearable.
Her grief is palpable.

Her soul is irrevocably wounded.
The scars are permanent.
The horror she has lived, cannot be forgotten.
The things she has seen can never be unseen.
The madness of her childhood cannot be explained.

No one can relate, no one can know. 
She cannot share, she cannot breathe. 
She cannot unburden herself because other’s lives are at stake. 

She must carry on. 
She cannot. 
She must.
She cannot. 

She longs for freedom. 
She longs for love.
She longs for family.
She is not worthy. 

The insanity is spreading like a cancer.
She screams but no sound is heard.  
The sadness pierces. 
Emotion surrounds her. 

She cannot break the cycle.
Her life is chaos. 
Her existence is suffering.

She is unappreciated.
She is misunderstood. 
She is unwanted.

She is misrepresented. 
She is accused. 
She is judged. 
She is persecuted. 
She is blamed. 

Her needs are simple, yet unattainable.
She is an aggravation. 
Her requests are ignored. 
She is unimportant. 
Her life is a non-issue. 

She is manipulated.
She is used.
She is defective. 
She is confused
She has no rights. 
She has no control.

She needs to control her environment. 
She cannot complete anything. 
Her attempts to save herself are sabotaged. 

She is empty. 
Her body aches. 
Her intellect is wasted. 
Her health suffers. 

She feels her mortality.
Her soul is hungry. 
She craves validation.
Her core can never be filled.

She is honest amongst a cesspool of liars, yet she is rejected as untruthful. 
She struggles to avoid repeating past transgressions. 
Her desires are endless, her addictions control her. 
The excruciating pain smolders and is all-consuming. 

She seeks absolution for imagined sins. 
Her spirit is ambition unrealized. 
Her compassion is golden but it is unreciprocated. 
Her shining brightness is darkened and hidden from the light of day. 

She is a diamond hidden forever in the coal.
Her fundamental nature is forgiving.
Her courage is rapture.

She is in recovery.
Her dreams propel her toward the light.
Her heart is pure. 

The fire sparkles in her eyes.
Her essence is gratefulness. 
Her soul is music. 
She is soaring.

She is a survivor.

©2013 Angelina Brighton