Friday, December 27, 2013

Victims are affected differently

My cousin, who was a little younger than me, used to stay the weekend with us when we were little.  She was my mother's sister's child and we were very close friends.

One morning my mom had left us with my dad while she went shopping for groceries and my dad took the opportunity to expose himself to her, in his customary fashion.  She saw him through the open door to the bed room and called my attention to it.  He called us to come into his room and began to touch both of us inappropriately.  My cousin announced that she was going to tell our moms and he threatened to spank her if she did.  Evidently that effectively silenced her.

Nothing more was said about it then, between my cousin and I, but years after we were grown up, she told my grandmother that she had been molested by my father.  My grandmother told my mother and my mother did not believe it even though she already knew I had been abused.  When my mother related this to me, long after my own children were grown up and gone, I set the matter straight and told her it most certainly was true.

My cousin grew up and married a man, but was unable to conceive a child.  They divorced and she was single for another long period of time.  More recently, but still several years ago she declared herself to be a lesbian and now lives with a female partner in a committed relationship. They eventually adopted a teen-aged child.  She mentioned to me that she feels one of the reasons she has turned away from men is because of being molested as a child.